I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
