Three words: puerto rican gang bang
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Still dying that you shit outside
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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