idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
