good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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