That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
