Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
