need another drink. this is the easiest way
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
