im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
