I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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