Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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