why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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