he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
