Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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