Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
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I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
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He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize