I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize