Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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