i love accidental penises.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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