I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
