it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
