Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
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Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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