Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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