i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm too high and old for this...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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