my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
