I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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