i think i have herpe
just one?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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