Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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