IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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