what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
