ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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