So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We had sex on a dog bed..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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