The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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