just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
