the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
