I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
