dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
