Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
