Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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