hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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