just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize