I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
