Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
