So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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