well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Gay?
German.
Pity.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
