I want to stick my p in your. b.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
