i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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