shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
