I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
