Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
