And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
