we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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