What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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