I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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