I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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