I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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