Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize