i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
it's great music for shaving your balls
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
