I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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