OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
