Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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