its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Boobs are out for the taking
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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