There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I want a musical about memes.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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