She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
