took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize