And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
