im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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