yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
