If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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