haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
